“you get what you give” – new radicals (1998)

When I started this blog 300 weeks ago during April 2015, it was just a way for me to work out thoughts about how music intersects with my life. Which, let’s face it, is no different than just about any other blog out there. I had no grand vision that I would craft a beautiful note heard distinctly from the noise that is the Internet. I never thought that I had such a unique voice that it would disrupt the world of online music criticism. All I wanted was a place to document my thoughts and, because I like themes, a different song a week sounded like a great idea.

I was feeling creatively restless in the weeks leading up to when I started this blog. A few months prior, I had a major life change that was very disruptive, and I had to find my footing again. I was feeling very isolated and alone, disconnected from myself and others. It was a wake-up call to the idea that, for a few years, I was not living my life with any autonomy or sense of control.  I know you cannot entirely control everything in your life, but I at least wanted the feeling that my hands were on the steering wheel and I was not heading down the wrong way of a one way street.  This involved new friends, new hobbies, and new outlets of expression. I started to take music classes. I picked up reading as a hobby when I had never been much of a reader before. And I thought writing could be fun.

I had no specific goal in mind for this blog. It was just a place for me to record my thoughts.  At times, this blog became many things. At times it was a diary. At other times it was serious music journalism. Some posts delved into really personal topics.  Many were social commentaries. A few times I got to workshop my skills as a writer. And sometimes I lacked cohesion and just needed to expel some energy.

I felt fine that each week would be different.  It never felt disjointed to me because the tones and topics would change from week to week.  The whole experience felt very fluid overall because I did have a general theme of a new song every week, with each week being from a different artist with no repeats (with the exception of a few clever tricks i.e., U2 vs. Passengers).  That was enough structure for me to set out in whatever direction I was going in.

Though this blog was a very common thing, it managed to do wonders for me as an outlet for expression. I really valued the times this blog allowed me to be vulnerable and confessional, expressing experiences or ideas that I found difficult to say out loud. It helped me become more confident in my convictions. It was a great stress reliever at times when I needed to channel certain frustrations whether they be personal or political. With those times, my writing became therapeutic. And, of course, spending an hour or so every week helped me become a better writer. I do not think that I am a particularly great writer, but this blog helped me become better. And I have a book being published later this year to show for it.

Sometimes, the decision for whatever song was the theme for the post became a challenge. If a song was associated with an anniversary, person, or event, then the occasion for those posts were quite obvious and sometimes easy, though I did not always jump at these opportunities. Another way I made a decision is if I had heard a song in some context and then wanted to explore the literal or figurative connections to it. And then there were times I had no energy but I still needed to write something, so I would begrudgingly phone it in. Even though I was following my own arbitrary rules for this blog, the rules kept me honest as well as open to songs unknown and unfamiliar to me.

I had spent a few months thinking about the song I wanted my last blog entry to be. Since this blog was always in flux in terms of quality and topic, I had sometimes made mistakes when I covered artists or songs near and dear to me. There were more times than I would care to admit that I wished I had waited to cover a specific artist because something noteworthy had just occurred, or that I found a better song from them that I would have liked to have covered (why I ever went with the unreleased version of Bob Dylan’s “Born in Time” instead of “Most of the Time,” my favorite song from him, I do not know). Based on those experiences, I really wanted to put in a lot of thought over this last song.

“You Get What You Give” by New Radicals was a massively successful song when it hit the airwaves in 1998. The first single from Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too, New Radicals’ only studio album, “You Get What You Give” was a truly remarkable hit that that graced the world with its presence in the right place at the right time. The 90s cultural domination by grunge was waning and nu metal and the next wave of machinated boy bands were still to come when New Radicals, led and produced by frontman Gregg Alexander, dropped one of the greatest one-hit wonders to ever be produced.  

While the lyrics and overall musical aesthetic of the song were not much different than most music produced at that time, it drew of timeless influences to craft its own timeless qualities. The song is produced so lushly, drawing in elements from earlier genres such as blue-eye soul and striking a balance in the vocals, delivered in an exquisite falsetto by Alexander. It is a lot of great classic elements that blend together to create something familiar yet bold.

Not only do I adore the instrumentation of the song, but I love the lyrics. The song is so positive and uplifting, reminding all of us that there is still so much to live for despite life’s challenges. That the light that can be found in life first come from within all of us. It is a song that no matter than I listen to it, I am instantly in a better mood. Feeling more empowered than I was before.

I do not believe in magical thinking, but I find the idea of it amusing.  I had made the decision to end the blog after 300 posts months ago.  Yesterday, my album group met virtually to discuss our thoughts on Lone Justice’s 1985 eponymous album.  The hit from that album was “Ways to Be Wicked,” which was the first song I wrote about for the blog back during April 2015.

And while I had planned to end it on this song for months, imagine my surprise when I saw news yesterday that New Radicals would reunite, the first time in 22 years, to perform as part of the Presidential Inauguration for Joe Biden.  It turns out the song was an anthem for the Biden family, especially between Joe and his son Beau while Beau was battling brain cancer. I loved reading that. It just goes to show how powerful of a force music can be for people. “You Get What You Give” was a source of empowerment for them and their love as father and son. That in the week where a new president enters the White House, this memory can be honored in such a way. The same week that I wanted to write about it because it makes me happy and feel more empowered about myself. Music can do anything and everything and as can I.

I think that is the note I want to end Deep End Songs on; empowerment. This song makes me feel empowered and I want everyone else to feel empowered by it too. I do not know what is next for me in terms of projects. I would like for COVID to go away and for me to reconnect with friends and family as well as within myself exploring in a way I have not been able to do for a year. I do not know what will happen going forward, but I am choosing to believe things are going to get better. Until then, I know I will carry on. The music is in me. The music is in all of us. And if you want life to give you its best, you gotta give it your best. You only get what you give.

“karma chameleon” – culture club (1983)

For the last month, I have been doing a lot of personal reflection about who I am as a person and who I would like to be. Nothing particularly bad or life changing happened to inspire this, but sometimes things just feel out of balance. And when those times happen, it is important to take a step back, assess how you are feeling, and where you have felt this before.

Having the self-awareness to do a deep dive reflection is hard.  It takes a lot of work.  However, nothing worth doing is ever easy. But that work is completely necessary.  Especially when there are things beyond your control that make your life feel less balanced.  You do not need a specific reason to check in on yourself.

I read a couple of books that really set the tone for me and have motivated me correct that imbalance.  The first I read was James Hollis’s Why Good People Do Bad Things, an exploration of Carl Jung’s psychological concept of the Shadow Self; the elements in our unconscious that aim affect to our surroundings if not dealt with.   The other was Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights, a philosophical celebrity memoir that includes philosophical musings about recognizing the value and potential of certain moments and events in our life. The former bookended my 2020 and while the latter set the tone for 2021. After such a tumultuous and difficult year, we have already seen how 2021 can carry on and exacerbate our collective difficulties.

I recognize my values of love, understanding, and compassion, and I want to continue building my life around these concepts. With so much happening in the world that throws one off balance and makes them question their convictions, it becomes essential to recognize that within one’s self and adjust accordingly.  It is how we stay true to ourselves. No one else can do that for you.

I spent a lot of the holidays listening to music that made me happy, focused, determined, challenged, and relaxed.  One song that always made me happy was Culture Club’s 1983 single “Karma Chameleon” from their album Colour By Numbers.  I had never known what the song meant, but the music just made me very happy.  About the song, Boy George said “The song is about the terrible fear of alienation that people have, the fear of standing up for one thing. It is about trying to suck up to everybody. Basically, if you are not true, if you do not act like you feel, then you get Karma-justice, that’s nature’s way of paying you back.”

Perhaps, over the last month, I had been feeling some of that Karma-justice because I was not feeling the balance I needed in my life.  So, I set out to do the work and I will enjoy the benefits of that work as they occur, even if I may not be aware of those benefits. Though 2021 started chaotically and will continue to act as much for a while, I cannot lose ouch with my values and my convictions.  I am leaving a challenging year with a new sense of purpose into one that will present me with its own unique challenges.  And if I need to step back and reassess again, I will have the strength to do that because to do nothing ends our own personal journey.

“old school” – danger doom feat. talib kweli (2005)

The New Years Eve announcement of Daniel Dumile’s death was an absolute shocker to anyone who has enjoyed hip-hop over the last 30 years.  It was shocking not just because it was the last-minute cherry on the shit sundae that was 2020 or that Dumile was only 49 years young, but he had actually passed away, two months prior to the announcement, on Halloween. In the age of social media, it seems almost unfathomable that such news could be held tight for that long.  However, regardless of the details and the family’s wishes, the news monumentally shook the music world as musicians and fans expressed their disbelief and mourn the passing of one of the great cross-generational hip-hop voices.

Dumile started his hip-hop career as one of the members of KMD during the late 1980s, known within the group as Zev Love X. KMD would be Dumile’s launching point into underground hip-hop stardom where he would embody his most enduring legacy, the mask-wearing supervillain persona of MF DOOM. As MF DOOM, Dumile would secure his legacy as a master craftsman of intricate wordplay. Incredibly prolific having released half a dozen solo albums (under various pseudonyms), collaborated on just as many (under more pseudonyms), and producing even more, MF DOOM embodied the flow of the synergy of style and substance in his music.

Growing up, I did not have a lot of outlets to discover new music though I was always hungry for it. Growing up, I did not live in places that had hip record stores or where it was easy to see an up-and-coming band play.  As for radio, all that was available to me where I lived were the large commercial stations.  And forget about streaming media; this was the early 2000s after all. So, the opportunity to find new and hip music would not come until later.

MF DOOM, probably because of mask, is one of those artists where you do not forget the first time you heard them.  For me, my first time was during the start of my freshman year while I was volunteering at the campus radio station.  The campus radio station was the first venue where I could explore a wealth of music that had not previously been available to me before.  I felt so out of place for a while because while all this was incredibly new to me, I felt really uncool considering everyone else knew all this music and so much more.  I had to dig in deep to catch up and listen, listen, listen. And once I did, so many doors and avenues of new musical experiences opened up for me.

The first album I ever listened to from the campus station was 2005’s The Mouse and the Mask, a collaboration between Danger Mouse and MF DOOM’s billed as Danger Doom (of course, the album features a mouse wearing the signature mouse). With beats created by Danger Mouse, MF DOOM’s lays down his penchant for incredibly lyrical stylings joined by a revolving cast of featured artists, such as Ghostface Killah, and characters from the Cartoon Network programming block [adult swim] like the crew from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Space Ghost: Coast to Coast

The track from the album I loved, and was featured in heavy rotation at the station, was “Old School” featuring Talib Kweli released as a single in the UK in 2006, a year after the album dropped. “Old School” is a great song not only because Kweli’s and MF DOOM’s deliveries are impeccable and the beats are phenomenal, but it perfectly captures the cartoonish qualities of the two as they rap about watching Saturday morning cartoons and how these cartoons taught them more about openness and inclusivity than anything they encountered during what can be called reality.  With this in mind, the mask becomes more than just a stage persona as MF DOOM demonstrates he has more humanity behind it than any of the other rappers on top 40 radio playing out gangland fantasies for club or street cred.

As details emerge about MF DOOM’s death, all I know is that he will be missed.  And besides, passing away in private and the whole world not knowing until months later is totally something he would do. RIP to the greatest supervillain in hip-hop.