“you get what you give” – new radicals (1998)

When I started this blog 300 weeks ago during April 2015, it was just a way for me to work out thoughts about how music intersects with my life. Which, let’s face it, is no different than just about any other blog out there. I had no grand vision that I would craft a beautiful note heard distinctly from the noise that is the Internet. I never thought that I had such a unique voice that it would disrupt the world of online music criticism. All I wanted was a place to document my thoughts and, because I like themes, a different song a week sounded like a great idea.

I was feeling creatively restless in the weeks leading up to when I started this blog. A few months prior, I had a major life change that was very disruptive, and I had to find my footing again. I was feeling very isolated and alone, disconnected from myself and others. It was a wake-up call to the idea that, for a few years, I was not living my life with any autonomy or sense of control.  I know you cannot entirely control everything in your life, but I at least wanted the feeling that my hands were on the steering wheel and I was not heading down the wrong way of a one way street.  This involved new friends, new hobbies, and new outlets of expression. I started to take music classes. I picked up reading as a hobby when I had never been much of a reader before. And I thought writing could be fun.

I had no specific goal in mind for this blog. It was just a place for me to record my thoughts.  At times, this blog became many things. At times it was a diary. At other times it was serious music journalism. Some posts delved into really personal topics.  Many were social commentaries. A few times I got to workshop my skills as a writer. And sometimes I lacked cohesion and just needed to expel some energy.

I felt fine that each week would be different.  It never felt disjointed to me because the tones and topics would change from week to week.  The whole experience felt very fluid overall because I did have a general theme of a new song every week, with each week being from a different artist with no repeats (with the exception of a few clever tricks i.e., U2 vs. Passengers).  That was enough structure for me to set out in whatever direction I was going in.

Though this blog was a very common thing, it managed to do wonders for me as an outlet for expression. I really valued the times this blog allowed me to be vulnerable and confessional, expressing experiences or ideas that I found difficult to say out loud. It helped me become more confident in my convictions. It was a great stress reliever at times when I needed to channel certain frustrations whether they be personal or political. With those times, my writing became therapeutic. And, of course, spending an hour or so every week helped me become a better writer. I do not think that I am a particularly great writer, but this blog helped me become better. And I have a book being published later this year to show for it.

Sometimes, the decision for whatever song was the theme for the post became a challenge. If a song was associated with an anniversary, person, or event, then the occasion for those posts were quite obvious and sometimes easy, though I did not always jump at these opportunities. Another way I made a decision is if I had heard a song in some context and then wanted to explore the literal or figurative connections to it. And then there were times I had no energy but I still needed to write something, so I would begrudgingly phone it in. Even though I was following my own arbitrary rules for this blog, the rules kept me honest as well as open to songs unknown and unfamiliar to me.

I had spent a few months thinking about the song I wanted my last blog entry to be. Since this blog was always in flux in terms of quality and topic, I had sometimes made mistakes when I covered artists or songs near and dear to me. There were more times than I would care to admit that I wished I had waited to cover a specific artist because something noteworthy had just occurred, or that I found a better song from them that I would have liked to have covered (why I ever went with the unreleased version of Bob Dylan’s “Born in Time” instead of “Most of the Time,” my favorite song from him, I do not know). Based on those experiences, I really wanted to put in a lot of thought over this last song.

“You Get What You Give” by New Radicals was a massively successful song when it hit the airwaves in 1998. The first single from Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too, New Radicals’ only studio album, “You Get What You Give” was a truly remarkable hit that that graced the world with its presence in the right place at the right time. The 90s cultural domination by grunge was waning and nu metal and the next wave of machinated boy bands were still to come when New Radicals, led and produced by frontman Gregg Alexander, dropped one of the greatest one-hit wonders to ever be produced.  

While the lyrics and overall musical aesthetic of the song were not much different than most music produced at that time, it drew of timeless influences to craft its own timeless qualities. The song is produced so lushly, drawing in elements from earlier genres such as blue-eye soul and striking a balance in the vocals, delivered in an exquisite falsetto by Alexander. It is a lot of great classic elements that blend together to create something familiar yet bold.

Not only do I adore the instrumentation of the song, but I love the lyrics. The song is so positive and uplifting, reminding all of us that there is still so much to live for despite life’s challenges. That the light that can be found in life first come from within all of us. It is a song that no matter than I listen to it, I am instantly in a better mood. Feeling more empowered than I was before.

I do not believe in magical thinking, but I find the idea of it amusing.  I had made the decision to end the blog after 300 posts months ago.  Yesterday, my album group met virtually to discuss our thoughts on Lone Justice’s 1985 eponymous album.  The hit from that album was “Ways to Be Wicked,” which was the first song I wrote about for the blog back during April 2015.

And while I had planned to end it on this song for months, imagine my surprise when I saw news yesterday that New Radicals would reunite, the first time in 22 years, to perform as part of the Presidential Inauguration for Joe Biden.  It turns out the song was an anthem for the Biden family, especially between Joe and his son Beau while Beau was battling brain cancer. I loved reading that. It just goes to show how powerful of a force music can be for people. “You Get What You Give” was a source of empowerment for them and their love as father and son. That in the week where a new president enters the White House, this memory can be honored in such a way. The same week that I wanted to write about it because it makes me happy and feel more empowered about myself. Music can do anything and everything and as can I.

I think that is the note I want to end Deep End Songs on; empowerment. This song makes me feel empowered and I want everyone else to feel empowered by it too. I do not know what is next for me in terms of projects. I would like for COVID to go away and for me to reconnect with friends and family as well as within myself exploring in a way I have not been able to do for a year. I do not know what will happen going forward, but I am choosing to believe things are going to get better. Until then, I know I will carry on. The music is in me. The music is in all of us. And if you want life to give you its best, you gotta give it your best. You only get what you give.

“karma chameleon” – culture club (1983)

For the last month, I have been doing a lot of personal reflection about who I am as a person and who I would like to be. Nothing particularly bad or life changing happened to inspire this, but sometimes things just feel out of balance. And when those times happen, it is important to take a step back, assess how you are feeling, and where you have felt this before.

Having the self-awareness to do a deep dive reflection is hard.  It takes a lot of work.  However, nothing worth doing is ever easy. But that work is completely necessary.  Especially when there are things beyond your control that make your life feel less balanced.  You do not need a specific reason to check in on yourself.

I read a couple of books that really set the tone for me and have motivated me correct that imbalance.  The first I read was James Hollis’s Why Good People Do Bad Things, an exploration of Carl Jung’s psychological concept of the Shadow Self; the elements in our unconscious that aim affect to our surroundings if not dealt with.   The other was Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights, a philosophical celebrity memoir that includes philosophical musings about recognizing the value and potential of certain moments and events in our life. The former bookended my 2020 and while the latter set the tone for 2021. After such a tumultuous and difficult year, we have already seen how 2021 can carry on and exacerbate our collective difficulties.

I recognize my values of love, understanding, and compassion, and I want to continue building my life around these concepts. With so much happening in the world that throws one off balance and makes them question their convictions, it becomes essential to recognize that within one’s self and adjust accordingly.  It is how we stay true to ourselves. No one else can do that for you.

I spent a lot of the holidays listening to music that made me happy, focused, determined, challenged, and relaxed.  One song that always made me happy was Culture Club’s 1983 single “Karma Chameleon” from their album Colour By Numbers.  I had never known what the song meant, but the music just made me very happy.  About the song, Boy George said “The song is about the terrible fear of alienation that people have, the fear of standing up for one thing. It is about trying to suck up to everybody. Basically, if you are not true, if you do not act like you feel, then you get Karma-justice, that’s nature’s way of paying you back.”

Perhaps, over the last month, I had been feeling some of that Karma-justice because I was not feeling the balance I needed in my life.  So, I set out to do the work and I will enjoy the benefits of that work as they occur, even if I may not be aware of those benefits. Though 2021 started chaotically and will continue to act as much for a while, I cannot lose ouch with my values and my convictions.  I am leaving a challenging year with a new sense of purpose into one that will present me with its own unique challenges.  And if I need to step back and reassess again, I will have the strength to do that because to do nothing ends our own personal journey.

“old school” – danger doom feat. talib kweli (2005)

The New Years Eve announcement of Daniel Dumile’s death was an absolute shocker to anyone who has enjoyed hip-hop over the last 30 years.  It was shocking not just because it was the last-minute cherry on the shit sundae that was 2020 or that Dumile was only 49 years young, but he had actually passed away, two months prior to the announcement, on Halloween. In the age of social media, it seems almost unfathomable that such news could be held tight for that long.  However, regardless of the details and the family’s wishes, the news monumentally shook the music world as musicians and fans expressed their disbelief and mourn the passing of one of the great cross-generational hip-hop voices.

Dumile started his hip-hop career as one of the members of KMD during the late 1980s, known within the group as Zev Love X. KMD would be Dumile’s launching point into underground hip-hop stardom where he would embody his most enduring legacy, the mask-wearing supervillain persona of MF DOOM. As MF DOOM, Dumile would secure his legacy as a master craftsman of intricate wordplay. Incredibly prolific having released half a dozen solo albums (under various pseudonyms), collaborated on just as many (under more pseudonyms), and producing even more, MF DOOM embodied the flow of the synergy of style and substance in his music.

Growing up, I did not have a lot of outlets to discover new music though I was always hungry for it. Growing up, I did not live in places that had hip record stores or where it was easy to see an up-and-coming band play.  As for radio, all that was available to me where I lived were the large commercial stations.  And forget about streaming media; this was the early 2000s after all. So, the opportunity to find new and hip music would not come until later.

MF DOOM, probably because of mask, is one of those artists where you do not forget the first time you heard them.  For me, my first time was during the start of my freshman year while I was volunteering at the campus radio station.  The campus radio station was the first venue where I could explore a wealth of music that had not previously been available to me before.  I felt so out of place for a while because while all this was incredibly new to me, I felt really uncool considering everyone else knew all this music and so much more.  I had to dig in deep to catch up and listen, listen, listen. And once I did, so many doors and avenues of new musical experiences opened up for me.

The first album I ever listened to from the campus station was 2005’s The Mouse and the Mask, a collaboration between Danger Mouse and MF DOOM’s billed as Danger Doom (of course, the album features a mouse wearing the signature mouse). With beats created by Danger Mouse, MF DOOM’s lays down his penchant for incredibly lyrical stylings joined by a revolving cast of featured artists, such as Ghostface Killah, and characters from the Cartoon Network programming block [adult swim] like the crew from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Space Ghost: Coast to Coast

The track from the album I loved, and was featured in heavy rotation at the station, was “Old School” featuring Talib Kweli released as a single in the UK in 2006, a year after the album dropped. “Old School” is a great song not only because Kweli’s and MF DOOM’s deliveries are impeccable and the beats are phenomenal, but it perfectly captures the cartoonish qualities of the two as they rap about watching Saturday morning cartoons and how these cartoons taught them more about openness and inclusivity than anything they encountered during what can be called reality.  With this in mind, the mask becomes more than just a stage persona as MF DOOM demonstrates he has more humanity behind it than any of the other rappers on top 40 radio playing out gangland fantasies for club or street cred.

As details emerge about MF DOOM’s death, all I know is that he will be missed.  And besides, passing away in private and the whole world not knowing until months later is totally something he would do. RIP to the greatest supervillain in hip-hop.

“goodbye year, goodbye” – x (2020)

What can I say about 2020 that I have not, and everyone else on the planet has not, already said? This year brought us a collective trauma in the form of a pandemic that manages to impact us in similar, yet different ways. Many lost their jobs. Many had loved ones get sick and die. May struggled with food insecurity.  I was fortunate enough to not have experienced any of those this year, but I had my own struggles.  And while I sometimes may have trouble feeling my issues were valid when so much worse could have happened, I have to remind myself of the following: we are all experiencing different aspects of the same thing and that no one’s experience is greater or lesser than yours, just different.

This year was certainly a mixed bag for me, complete with all kinds of ups and down.  How that is different than any other year, I am not exactly sure.  But I do know I took a lot of opportunities to understand myself more and do a lot deeper reflection. Perhaps more than I would have than previous years where I am distracted by work, friends, dating, and everything that makes up my life. So, like every year, I find myself grateful for some things while also learning from my mistakes.

As I close out this year, I think about something I learned about myself rather early in the pandemic; that I experienced all my normal feelings but just more intensely. As I listened to friends share their experiences with coping with the pandemic, the experiences were varied. Some took this as a time to shed unnecessary expectations and focus on surviving instead of thriving. Some experienced deep mental anguish.  Some reveled in their victories.  I know my year was a combination of all three.

But while I may have realized I experienced more intense versions of all my normal feelings, I didn’t understand until much later a deeper reason why. At first, I thought I was feeling these things because of the pandemic; that Covid was the reason why I felt the way I did.  No, Covid was the reason why I felt anything, I later realized. Covid only revealed what was already there, but subdued or in a form I was not entirely conscious of. And that includes feelings both good and bad, and everything in between as well as their consequences. It was heavy to learn that lesson.  It was like medicine.  While it was good for me, it sure didn’t that way.

So, as I continue to process this realization and think about how I can make next year better for myself and others, I have to take into consideration the context of the deep personal reflection we all do after the holidays at the end of the year. We are all beings who are constantly growing to become the people we have always meant to be.  And that requires learning hard lessons from our mistakes, as well as finding the hidden ones within our victories. I don’t need a calendar milestone to do that, and nobody really should, but sometimes things just work out that way.

So, for my last song blog post of the year, I wanted a song that captured how I feel about 2020 in a simple way.  Featured on 2020’s Alphabetland, the Los Angeles-based punk and alternative band X’s first studio release in 27 years (and first with the original line-up in 35 years), “Goodbye Year, Goodbye” is my message for 2020 as the year closes out.  In the song, a raucous party is happening, but it is not entirely a welcomed celebration. The music and voices are so loud with people guzzling tequila like amidst the chaos left my empty bank accounts, former lovers, and a party so loud that it beats everyone’s brains in. It is a celebration to send 2020 off on its way and while not everyone is merry and cheerful, people are celebrating and partying hard precisely for the reason they can still celebrate and party hard. It was not a great year, and much worse for so many, but we are glad to see it go; sad for what could have been and what was missed, but are we oh so happy to leave it all behind so we can all live our lives.

“peace on earth/little drummer boy” – bing crosby & david bowie (1982)

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about empathy.  Especially as it relates to the COVID-19 pandemic. While 2020 has been a rather difficult year for mostly everyone, I have been taking the time to express gratitude in my life and also feeling hopeful about what a post-COVID world looks like now that a vaccine roll-out is showing us the first glimpse of a finish line.

The holidays are generally a time of year where everyone is inundated with messages about the spirit of the of the season, especially Christmas with the secular meaning of the holiday being about good will towards all people. And that is really great.  The problem is, though, once the holidays are over and the decorations are put up, there is a post-holiday hangover and everyone seemingly forgets, or conveniently ignores, the fact that we still need to care for others.

The world after COVID-19 will not be exactly like the one before.  It may feel familiar, but things have changed and will not go back. So, as we navigate what this new reality will be after the pandemic, I think about what I would like to see change.

One of the best things that I have seen happen during this pandemic is a renewed sense of caring for others; checking in on them and feeling empathetic towards their struggles. It is my hope, once the pandemic is over and we can return to our lives with some sense of normalcy, that society continues with this leap towards empathy.  That something that has been so integral to the mental, physical, and emotional healthy stays with us as we navigate a post-pandemic society that continues to champion compassion, empathy, and understanding.

Christmas is different this year for me and so many others. I will not be spending Christmas in the company of friends and family, instead choosing to socially distance for my own health and the health of the people I love and care about. It is not ideal, but it is only temporary, and I look forward to celebrating twice as much next year when it is safe to do so.

Released in 1982, “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy,” performed by David Bowie and Bing Crosby, is a Christmas classic that expertly uses an added counterpoint performance.  Crosby performs “Littler Drummer Boy,” a classic penned by Katherine Kennicott Davis in 1941, about a poor child who plays his drum as the only gift he can offer for the newborn Christ Child. Bowie, in the counterpoint, performs the “Peace On Earth” counterpoint, expressing his vision for a world of peace for all children. Though not released until 1982 (with the exception of an unofficial bootleg as early as 1978), Crosby and Bowie recorded the song in 1977 for Crosby’s holiday special, Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas.

A truly moving performance, the whole meaning of it is elevated with the calls for peace for future generations.  That is what sticks out with me the most about the song and something I deeply believe in. As we move through the holiday season, and many are struggling with the heavy emotional burden from that COVID-19 is bringing during this time, I hope that this renewed sense of empathy continues. It does not have to stop when the ball drops and the calendar changes to 2021.

“changes” – common (2009)

All 538 electors casted their votes yesterday, further cementing that Joe Biden won the presidential election. This, of course, is no surprise to anyone. Biden won both the popular and electoral votes despite the baseless challenges by Trump and his supporters. Democracy’s gears are still grinding, even if there may be things mucking it up and slowing it down.

I have no interest in talking about Trump anymore. He is an afterthought to me.  So, I have largely been avoiding discussing him and I am making increasingly greater efforts to avoid doing so.  However, there are reverberations from his presidency that have to be discussed.

The dichotomy in this country, further polarizing its citizens, has continued to widen.  It is a chasm, fueled by dangerous, unchecked rhetoric.  And it all comes from various failures in our systems and institutions, primarily based on laws or common sense, that have been exploited by opportunistic individuals, foreign governments, and profit-driven media. But there is one group that is most responsible: the American people.

No one is more responsible for the election of Donald Trump than America’s own citizens.  And not just the people who voted for him.  Even his detractors have contributed to the cultural and social disconnect. It is too easy to blame the small, but active, contingent of Trump’s most loyal followers.  This is a country that we all share an investment in, and we all contribute to its success and discourse.

I am progressive liberal living in a fairly liberal city, so it becomes easy to be caught in a bubble being fed information by constant feedback loops.  But I know better than that.  Throughout the last four years, during conversations with friends or observations on social media, I have heard and seen intelligent and openminded people I know try to separate themselves and their brand of politics on a higher plane, but remain completely oblivious to how damaging their language is.

One of my biggest issues is how we welcome back Trump’s supporters, even his most ardent, back into the fold of our daily lives with respect. Early on in Trump’s administration, I would tell friends that not every person who voted for Trump is a racist or directly aligns with his brand of populism.  There is a social and culture grievance they have, one that has to be understood if we are going to slow, or hopefully reverse, the divide in this country.  In these cases, I get some pushback about how they actually are racist or, at best, are complicit with racism. Just basically thinking of the most extreme Trump supporter they can think of and basing their assessment on that.

However, that is not true. And it is even more true now than ever.  As Trump leaves office, we cannot treat a whole group of people as if they are wearing a Scarlet Letter, a “T” for their democratic transgressions. While this country reconciles with the darkest aspect of its histories, the systemic oppression of people of color, we also have to understand the needs and concerns of people who don’t fall into those categories. 

I think back to a conversation I had last year with someone.  I said that in order for this country to heal, we have to consider the voices of every American. Their response “When you say ‘every American,’ it sounds like you’re including old, white men.”  Why, yes, I am.  Because they are a population within this country as well.

Almost every day, I see editorials and opinion pieces debating how we should handle people who voted for Trump, whether it be once or twice. Some argue that shaming them is not the path forward.  I am in the camp.  But I am alarmed at the growing voice of those saying that these people need to suffer the consequences of uplifting an authoritarian. If that is truly the growing popular consensus, then that is the fastest way to ensure the country fractures so completely that it shatters along ideological lines. Another Civil War.

I firmly believe in the old expression that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. This can be applied to how we engage with our family, friends, and neighbors who have been duped by an orange-tinned conman. I understand the last four years have been difficulty, and that things will get more difficult. But we cannot heal together if we do not include everyone.  And that starts with understanding that Trump’s supporters, on the whole, are not the violent white supremacists you on viral social media posts.  They are people like you and me, with their own wishes for the future and desires to live a simple, uncomplicated life.

This has been one my mind a lot lately as I am currently reading the first volume of Barack Obama’s two-volume presidential memoir, A Promised Land. Obama, in recent months, has been under fire by the far left for his criticisms of their rhetoric. And I get it.  People are angry and they want change now.  However, it cannot happen overnight.  Obama campaigned on that during his first campaign, back when he was a darling of progressivism and a bold vision for the future.

Since then, people have grown more cynical and Obama has become a symbol of establishment Washington and all the criticisms that come with that.  And, sure, I have stated my negative feedback about some of his policies over the years. That is standard for politics.

Though, reading through his book, I am really drawn to how he stays true to his vision of America; that there are no red states or blues, but only the United States. Even after two terms of his own presidency, and observing the public discourse during Trump’s term, he still believes that Americans have more in common than they have differences.  And I firmly believe that too. I have not felt hopeful for a while, but between Biden’s win and this book, I am starting too again. But, if we are going to weather the storm that is Trumpism, we cannot feed into it.  And the first step is to create a dialogue with someone who voted for them and listen to what they have to say.

I want progressive ideals to flourish, but you cannot force them to happen.  They have to happen organically. And the best way to win someone over to your side is to show how much you have in common and make them feel welcomed.  Alienation and tribalism will only stand to ruin us.  It is hard work, but I know we all have the strength to do it.

Obama has always made some great playlists.  The man loves music.  I love it when he drops one and his latest, to celebrate the book, is great as well.  So, I started to do a deep dive into how music played a role in his campaign.

I found a compilation from 2009, called Change Is Now: Renewing America’s Promise, that musically celebrated the election Obama.  There are lots of great artists on the compilation, with advocating for peace and championing hope.  Listening to it was an uplifting experience and got me pumped about the future again.

Closing out the album is a track from Common called “Changes.” It was written as a tribute to Obama and feels incredibly hopeful as Common looks ahead, voicing that people are taking to the streets, feeling inspired about a new dawn in America. That dawn did not immediately come.  And I am not sure it will.  It is said that it is usually darkest before the dawn. I am unsure if our darkest days are behind us, but I do know that dawn is coming.

“too late for goodbyes” – julian lennon (1984)

Yesterday was the 40^th anniversary of John Lennon’s murder by Mark David Chapman outside of the Dakota in New York City. I was not alive when that happened, but I know it was a devastating moment for many based on the many articles and personal stories I saw shared on social media. An unequivocally complex figure, Lennon’s impact on culture, as a Beatle and later on his own, is immeasurable. Regardless of one’s personal opinion about any of Lennon’s qualities, we are objectively better as a society for what he has done for so many.

Three years ago, on the occasion of my birthday, I travelled to New York City solo for a few days. On the then 37^th anniversary of his death, I visited Strawberry Fields, the portion of Central Park that serves as a memorial to Lennon and not far from the Dakota where Lennon both lived and died. Surrounding the famed “Imagine” mosaic were a group of people, some with instruments, singing and performing Beatles and Lennon songs.  It was quite a site to see and the energy was amazing as so many people came together to celebrate the impact Lennon had on all our lives.  I ended up revisiting the mosaic the next day to see it during a quieter and more reflective moment.

So much has been said about the Beatles and Lennon.  I have covered both during the course of this blog.  So, I am unsure of what more I can say about both. I do not repeat artists as part of the concept for this blog.  However, for such a monumental figure as Lennon, there is always something to share.

On Mother’s Day this year, U2 front man Bono turned 60.  For the occasion, he published a playlist of 60 songs that had changed his life.  These were songs that had, for one reason or another, made an impact on him one way or the other and which he had a deep sentimental attachment towards.  For each song, Bono published typewriter written open letters for each of the songs addressed to either the artist directly or a child or spouse should they be deceased.

One of the songs that appeared on Bono’s playlist was Lennon’s “Mother,” an achingly heartbreaking lamentation about abandonment based on Lennon’s own experience being abandoned by his mother. The letter was addressed to Lennon’s eldest son, Julian, who had been abandoned by his father and experienced emotional and verbal abuse from him for the remainder of his life. Since his father’s death, Julian has spoken candidly about his father’s “peace and love” reputation, referring to him as a hypocrite.

In his letter to Julian, Bono discusses the role abandonment plays in a rock star’s life saying that they “write from a place of abandonment to a place of abandonment.” Drawing a personal connection to “Mother,” Bono says he has been trying to write a version of this song his entire life; a reflection of adolescent abandonment Bono has dealt with all his life since the premature death of his mother.

Bono, a close friend of Julian’s, know the struggle he has faced distancing himself from the looming shadow of his famous father. Bono believes that if Lennon had lived into his 40s, he would have followed Julian “around with pride the way you did him.” With “Mother” representing a deep wound Lennon tried to heal, perhaps, if things were different, healing his own abandonment would mean healing his relationship with his son.

In 1984, at the age of 21, Julian released his debut studio album Valotte. The first single from the album, and Julian’s most successful, was “Too Late for Goodbyes.” While Julian has gone on record to affirm that this song is not about his estranged relationship with his father but rather a relationship with a woman coming apart, one cannot help but ascribe Julian’s relationship with his father to the song. Considering a figure resembling John appears in the video, the song’ could carry more meaning despite Julian’s assertions.

Lennon looms too large for it to be impossible to disassociate him from the song. However, if Bono was right in his letter, and Lennon had not been murdered, then perhaps it would not have been too late for goodbye between John and Julian.

“if we make it through december” – phoebe bridgers (2020)

Last week was Thanksgiving and it was the first taste of what many people can expect to experience as we head into winter during the pandemic. After a bizarre summer where people tried to find the balance between being safe and enjoying the splendor of sunshine and warm weather, we are now facing a period of stillness. March and April this year were difficult as people adjusted to the concept of being quarantined, and the still frigid temperatures of late winter and early spring in Chicago helped with that. But, we were already past the worst of what Chicago winter has to offer. It was all a prelude to the real challenge many face as we enter the holiday season and the new year beyond.

I did not travel for Thanksgiving. I stayed home, ate leftover lentil soup, called friends and family, and occupied myself with video games and television. So many were expected to travel for the turkey holiday and I was constantly bombarded with seemingly endless notices and warnings about the dangers of becoming infected or infecting others.  Though, that did not stop the millions who still traveled for whatever rationalization they came up with.  I guess the idea of playing video games alone was too much to bear.

I went for a three-mile run around noon on Thanksgiving because the temperatures warmed up a bit.  My running routine during the pandemic has changed and I stay off sidewalks when I can, instead moving up the opposite direction on one-way streets so as not to inconvenience other pedestrians.  During this run, I observed what others in my neighborhood were doing to cope with how different Thanksgiving looked this year.  Several bought has-powered heat lamps, like the kind you see on restaurant patios, so they could dine with loved ones.  I even saw a couple of houses take up parking spaces to erect tents and picnic tables for people to eat together.

All this was very interesting to me.  I had already done the mental, emotional, and spiritual work on myself knowing I would be spending Thanksgiving alone. As I saw how other people adjusted in their outdoor spaces, I wondered about their motivations. Whether it was because they are dreading winter and the limited opportunities of seeing others or were just merely making the best out of a bad situation, I cannot assume. I was struck by the will to normalize an unnormal situation. Couldn’t they just accept the situation? I had thought about whether these people were mentally prepared for what was to come, but I figured I was being too hard on them. People just want to live their lives.

And that drive to live one’s own life is what is going to make the next few months significantly more difficult than what we have already experienced so far.  The reason why so many warnings went out about Thanksgiving travel is because people just want to live their pre-pandemic lives. The problem is that it exacerbates the situation. It worsens the pandemic for everyone involved, especially those who must make difficult decisions about their own safety and forego opportunities to see friends and family. I have felt that if we all just took this seriously and stayed inside earlier on, we would only have to endure the hardship of such conditions for a month.  Eight months later, things are only getting worse.

Hannukah, Christmas, and the other holy holidays are right around the corner and I feel things will be worse than during Thanksgiving. More people travelling and more people struggling in their homes. It will be a difficult time for many people. People will continue to travel, and the weather will keep us inside more. There are challenges all around.  The last eight months, though they should never have happened in the first place or made the current situation worse, were the practice rounds for what will be the most difficult time during the pandemic; the holidays and bitter winter months.

I have made adjustments for myself to stay healthy emotionally, physically, and mentally. I am working out more at home, calling friends and family when I need to, and taking the time for self-care when I need it.  Winter is coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  I have accepted this, but I am concerned many others have not.  Instead of making similar adjustments, many just want to resign to the idea that COVID is here to stay so we might as well just live with it.  I don’t understand this mentality and I am tired of trying to rationalize or understand it. Others are going to do what they do, and I am going to do what I do. Regardless, I will get through winter.

Phoebe Bridgers came on radar recently when she received four Grammy nominations last week.  A friend shared a link to her version of Merle Haggard’s song “If We Make It Through December” that appears on Bridger’s 2020 EP of the same name.  Bridgers strips down Haggard’s classic whiskey-breathed country sound to a somber piano track joined with an apparition-like backing vocal that captures the lonely essence of a pandemic winter.  In the song, the singer has lost their job from the factory and Christmas looks to be pretty bleak.  However, the warm welcoming sun of California is on the other side of winter if they can just hold on until then driven by the hope that things will get better.

That is certainly how I feel right now. I do not exactly know what is on the other side of a pandemic winter, but all I am concerned about right now is just getting through it. Will things be better?  Likely. But none of that will not matter if we all do not get through this period together.  And getting there in one piece takes everyone doing their part. So, I guess enjoy the holidays the best way you can because things will get worse before they get better.

“what is life” – george harrison (1970)

This week marks the 50^th anniversary release of the Quiet Beatle’s greatest studio album.  Upon its release in 1970, George Harrison’s three-LP third studio album All Things Must Pass was a triumph that showed Harrison had so much to offer as a solo artist.  Though not the first solo project from a solo Beatle, it was Harrison’s first since the band disbanded and it has since remained a crucial document in his enduring legacy.

One of the biggest strengths of All Things Must Pass, that is not immediately or readily apparent on solo outings from his former bandmates, is just how diverse this album is. The array of styles and influences Harrison displays on this album masterfully showcases the breadth of his influences. Harrison brings his personal and professional experiences with artists close to him, such co-writing a track with Bob Dylan and contributions from artists such as Eric Clapton and Peter Frampton, which showcases the wealth of talent within Harrison while opening himself up even further with a little help from his friends. While I am sure Harrison could have achieved this with one LP, but only one could not adequately demonstrate Harrison’s entire range as an artist up to this point.  Across this triple album, Harrison’s astonishing array of songs is dynamic and eclectic.

While All Things Must Pass is not the greatest solo work from a Beatle, or even my favorite, the album demonstrates artistic and personal growth better than any other solo release. Though the lead guitarist for the Beatles, Harrison’s role was often overshadowed by his bandmates John Lennon and Paul McCartney due to their more frequent songwriting contributions to the band’s catalogue. To carve out one’s space coming from what one can argue as an unbalanced band dynamic is not small feat. And to do so with such competence and clarity of spirit and identity is nothing short of marvelous. Harrison proved that he could be on a different plane, lightyears ahead of his former bandmates.

“What is Life” stands as one of my favorite songs from the album as well as one of my favorites from not only Harrison’s solo outings, but cumulatively from all Beatles as well. Released as the second single from the album on February 15^th, 1971, “What Is Life” is a culmination of ideas that sums up Harrison’s whole deal as an individual and artist; a love song that seamlessly blends a love for a woman or a higher power . It also contains an excellent guitar riff that easily rivals anything Harrison had done in his career so far. Add in the fact it appeared in one of Martin Scorsese’s greatest films, and you have the recipe for a masterclass in songcraft with a lasting legacy.

“ignorance is bliss” – jellyfish (1991)

This year marks the 35^th anniversary of video gaming’s most beloved icon. Mario, the overall wearing and mushroom loving plumber, has been delighting millions of people since the 1985 release of Super Mario Bros. on the Nintendo Entertainment System. With countless games and a universe of friends and foes, Mario jumped into the collective conscious earning him a 1-UP in all our hearts over the decades. Coming from an age before when video games were considered a valid art form, Mario simultaneously define and reinvented how people play video games.

My earliest memories of Mario come from playing Super Mario World, the 1991 landmark title that launched the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. With a colorful playful 16-bit palette, that game defined my childhood and appreciation for video games. At the age of five, I was stomping on goombas and kicking turtle shells better than any adult struggling to understand how to make the jump from arcade classic like Pan-Man into the exciting world of a platform game. This was my domain and, just like so many other kids from my generation, it was exactly where I needed to be.

As what happens with time, taste and priorities change.  I still played video games all the way through college, but I was spending less time with Mario and more time with the first-person shooter and open-world sandbox games that were changing the landscape of video games that Mario established. I still loved Mario, but he had always been there and I was interested in other things.

After college, video games dropped off the map for me.  I had moved to a big city and was focused on building my life there and pursing all the interests that came with that. I did not have time for video games.  Plus, I did not have the money for them either.  With where I was now, my money went to all the big city vices like shows.  Again, my priorities reflected where I was in life.

I did stay connected with Mario though I did not play any of his games.  My little brothers were big gamers and loved all the Mario games.  For several years, on birthdays and Christmases, I was the one to get them new Mario games for their Wii and then WiiU and then Switch.  I would play a bit with them whenever I visited for the holidays, but these gaming moments were still a rare treat for me.

At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, after talking with my little brothers, I decided to buy a Nintendo Switch so I could play games with them online. But being that we had different schedules and they had limitations on game time, this allowed me to explore what the Switch had to offer while I waited out the pandemic.  Oh, oh man, has it been such a great time.

Thanks to the Switch library, I have been reliving some of my favorite Mario games from when I was kid.  Also, I have been enjoying some of the later titles that I missed. It has been a fun way to pass time during the pandemic.  But it also gives me something else with which to connect with my brothers.

Nintendo pulled no punches in celebrating Mario’s 35^th anniversary.  In addition to re-releasing some older titles for the modern platforms, they also found ways to re-energize old school Mario for lifelong fans like me.  Super Mario Bros. 35 is an updated spin on the icon’s classic launch title.  You play through all the classic levels, but this time competitively against 34 other plays live online in a winner takes all session until only one Mario has been left standing.  I know these levels like the back of my hand, but competing with other people around the world breathes new life into the game and keeps me playing three decades later. And during such a difficult time, sparking new life into something so familiar is just what I needed.

I had spent time going through soundtrack releases to find the right song to spotlight Mario for this song blog.  And Nintendo has released their fair share of original gaming soundtracks.  Finding a classic theme on a CD was easy enough to do. However, that was too easy.

With further digging, I found a completion from 1991 Nintendo: White Knuckle Scorin’. It was a compilation of various established musicians like Roy Orbison and Dire Straits who, at various points, employed a talent agent named Bobby Brooks.  The compilation is dedicated to him after he perished in the same helicopter crash that killed Stevie Ray Vaughan. Dedicated to Brooks, Nintendo: White Knuckle Scorin’ was compiled to tap into the hip youth who played video games and promote literacy in children. Despite the Nintendo tie-in, only one song actually has any references to Nintendo and Mario.

“Ignorance Is Bliss” by Jellyfish, the opening track to the compilation, directly references Mario and his friends. Andy Sturmer, the frontman for Jellyfish, crafted the lyrics from the comic book featured in the compilation which illustrates Bowser’s disdain for literacy and what he will do to end it.  Cartoonish and silly, “Ignorance Is Bliss” is the only song that truly fits on such an esoteric and questionable compilation. However, I have to admire it because making an original song about literacy for a video game themed compilation that has no other direct connections is so gloriously of its time for 1991.  Three decades later and I am talking about it. But with a career as long and storied as Mario’s, you have to take the weird with the good because not every box you break will have a coin inside.