For the last month, I have been doing a lot of personal reflection about who I am as a person and who I would like to be. Nothing particularly bad or life changing happened to inspire this, but sometimes things just feel out of balance. And when those times happen, it is important to take a step back, assess how you are feeling, and where you have felt this before.
Having the self-awareness to do a deep dive reflection is hard. It takes a lot of work. However, nothing worth doing is ever easy. But that work is completely necessary. Especially when there are things beyond your control that make your life feel less balanced. You do not need a specific reason to check in on yourself.
I read a couple of books that really set the tone for me and have motivated me correct that imbalance. The first I read was James Hollis’s Why Good People Do Bad Things, an exploration of Carl Jung’s psychological concept of the Shadow Self; the elements in our unconscious that aim affect to our surroundings if not dealt with. The other was Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights, a philosophical celebrity memoir that includes philosophical musings about recognizing the value and potential of certain moments and events in our life. The former bookended my 2020 and while the latter set the tone for 2021. After such a tumultuous and difficult year, we have already seen how 2021 can carry on and exacerbate our collective difficulties.
I recognize my values of love, understanding, and compassion, and I want to continue building my life around these concepts. With so much happening in the world that throws one off balance and makes them question their convictions, it becomes essential to recognize that within one’s self and adjust accordingly. It is how we stay true to ourselves. No one else can do that for you.
I spent a lot of the holidays listening to music that made me happy, focused, determined, challenged, and relaxed. One song that always made me happy was Culture Club’s 1983 single “Karma Chameleon” from their album Colour By Numbers. I had never known what the song meant, but the music just made me very happy. About the song, Boy George said “The song is about the terrible fear of alienation that people have, the fear of standing up for one thing. It is about trying to suck up to everybody. Basically, if you are not true, if you do not act like you feel, then you get Karma-justice, that’s nature’s way of paying you back.”
Perhaps, over the last month, I had been feeling some of that Karma-justice because I was not feeling the balance I needed in my life. So, I set out to do the work and I will enjoy the benefits of that work as they occur, even if I may not be aware of those benefits. Though 2021 started chaotically and will continue to act as much for a while, I cannot lose ouch with my values and my convictions. I am leaving a challenging year with a new sense of purpose into one that will present me with its own unique challenges. And if I need to step back and reassess again, I will have the strength to do that because to do nothing ends our own personal journey.
deep end songs 